When it comes to general advice on parenting, there are far more experienced and knowledgeable people in that regard than me. However, when it comes to counsel for parents concerning spiritual matters, there is a singular, divine standard that applies universally and supersedes any human knowledge. It is the Word of God. The Bible should be – and is – the best source of guidance for parents on how to raise children. Since “Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward” (Psalm 127:3), then parents should ask themselves, “What does God expect from me as a parent?” I can answer that question from a Biblical standpoint: Help your child make the faith their own!
How does a parent do that? Here are a few Biblical points to consider in helping your child develop their own faith and ultimately become a strong, faithful Christian:
- You must be the first example of a godly life that they see. Everyone knows that children imitate what they see and hear as they grow. While developing their motor skills, they are also developing their cognitive skills. They are reasoning and shaping the foundational core of their personality, worldview, and habits. A parent who exhibits a godly life through consistent attendance at church services, daily Bible reading and prayer, and demonstrating Christian love in their behavior will positively impact a child’s development. As your children observe your behavior, they internalize what they see and hear as their own foundation. The principles of Matthew 5:16; Philippians 2:14-16; Titus 2:7-8; and 1 Peter 2:12 all apply to parents and their children as much as they do to anyone else. They all speak of one’s influence as a godly example before others.
- Make God the priority in everything. Children have lots of great opportunities as they grow. However, if you as a parent allow sports, performing arts, social organizations, and other school activities to compete with God – it sends a clear message: God is not preeminent in your life. Loving God with “all your heart, soul, mind, and strength” (Mark 12:30) and “Seeking first the kingdom of God” (Matthew 6:33) emphatically imply that choices must be made. It means God should come before anything else – including tournaments, games, meetings, performances, and the like. Occasionally missing worship services and/or Bible study for extracurricular activities may seem like an innocent compromise, but the message it transmits can have eternal consequences. When we see children who have “grown up in the church” leave it when they get older, and we wonder why, the lack of making God the priority is often a contributing reason.
- Provide opportunity to learn. In Deuteronomy 6:7, Moses instructed Israel, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” The same principle still applies to families today. Parents are responsible for teaching their children about God and His ways. This can be accomplished with family devotionals, praying together, providing Biblical materials for children to learn from, and attending Sunday school, VBS, or other church activities. Since “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God” (Rom 10:17), the more Bible they hear and learn, the more likely they will make the faith their own.
- Recognize that every child is their own individual before God. You may possibly do everything right, according to the Bible … and your child may grow up to be a faithful disciple. But it is also possible they may not. That is the principle seen in Ezekiel 18:1-32; Philippians 2:10-11; and Revelation 20:12-15. Every individual will stand before the throne of God and be held accountable for their own actions. Parents, your children are your mission field! Help them get to heaven! (Ephesians 6:4; Proverbs 22:6) You can’t carry your child into heaven, but you can certainly guide them in the right direction … and what an incredible privilege that is!